May 31st 1943
To Mrs. Carl B Thomas
San Antonio, Texas
Dearest Mother,
I am still alive but I have never taken such a moral and mental beating in my life. I just despise this method of learning to get along. Keep on the ball and learn to be exact. I always had pride in myself that I could fix something well and exactly and dress faster and better then the average fellow and I am always getting "chewed on" less then a lot of the fellows because of this but when they do get on me it seems to make me feel a lot worse then everyone else. The other underclassmen just ignore the guys and laugh it off (after they leave of course). I just can't laugh. I am either angry at myself or at them or disgusted or just plain down in the dumps. This is enough to ruin my sense of humor. The underclassmen don't dare even smile and get caught or they get racked back. I wish to God this mess was over. I would quit today if it was but I am going to see it through, as long as the war continue, even if it kills me.
They keep harping on the feet that we are going out to kill! kill! kill! The instructors ask you, "Would you machine gun women and children if they were along a road or someplace." They ask :would we machinegun a flier that had to jump out in parachute." I say "YES" because if I didn't I would be done. I wonder if I will ever be able to though. I don;t like to imagine myself in such a position. I certainly wish God would keep these things from starting.
PLease send me all the letters you can but no packages. They wouldn't let me keep it. They would eat it if it was food and store it someplace until I got out of here if it wasn't. Classes in code, phyisics, start Monday, I don't know when the others start
Love to all
Dave
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